Damn cancer!

Ohhhhh my sad, sad heart.  I am so angry at cancer right now.  Why is it so freakin' prevelent these days?  Why are we constantly hearing of person after person getting diagnosed with cancer?  Why does it seem like most are late stage cancer?  Why doesn't it just go away already!

There are people that I feel were brought into my life when I moved from Ontario to Vancouver Island.  The person I roommated with when I first moved here, introduced me to my landlord, who was an incredible friend to me.  We spent hours cooking, talking and listening to cheesey 80's music.  He is a friend of the heart to me always and forever.  He introduced me to my husband and to my good friend Angela.  I am forever grateful for that.  My roommate also introduced me to one of my dearest and "felt like family" friends from the moment I met her, Sonya.  She is right up there as one of the strongest people I know.  She is beautiful, kind, loving, hilarious and she is a phenominal mom to her two boys.  There is also my dear friend Carolyn.  We hit it off with one another the very first day we met.  She is a ray of light; an older woman who looks not a day past 37!  She has a heart of gold, she's vivacious, fun, fun, fun and I know we were brought to eachother as much as I know I was brought to my husband, Sonya, Angela.  These 4 people and Rob's sister Jenny are "my people".   The ones I feel are like family, the ones I can turn to at any moment for love & support.  The ones that allow me to tease the crap out of them {in true Shauna style} and they love me for it.  I am blessed for the friendships I have made here. 

My wonderful friend Carolyn was told she had late stage breast cancer about 4 months after I met her.  That only strengthened our bond that much more.  She fought the hard fight and like all cancer patients she had her good days, her bad days but she did it and she completed her treatments.  She spoke at the opening ceremonies at this years "Relay for Life", she is raising awareness.  She is my friend and I love her.  My heart is so sad since hearing the news yesterday that her cancer is back and also like me, it's stage 4.  I wish cancer would just fuck off!

I am sad, crying for what she is going to have to go through, the decisions she now has to make, and all that comes with being diagnosed with stage 4 metastatic breast cancer.  My heart is broken for her, her family, her friends & everyone else that has to deal with this stupid, stupid disease.  I am grateful that we have one another to lean on, to be there for eachother...who would know better what we are going through?  I wish I did not have to share in this with her. 

I love her.  I hate cancer.
I will find a reason to smile double today!
I will not let cancer take me down without a fight...
or without a smile on my face!